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29th December 2015 - Just a quick update...had the best Christmas ever.
I had two Christmas days...first Christmas Day was spent at my sister's house with Spider (my Teddy Boy), mum, stepfather, sister, brother in law and my nephews. It was quite a long day but I love singing in the car and Spider loves driving and we had such a laugh...I also made my first ever video that I uploaded to youtube...see below! (And please follow my YouTube too - because I'm planning to add it to my active social networks in 2016!)
Christmas Day 2 was spent at home - me and Spider watched some films, ate too much junk, played with the animals...and unwrapped all the presents we hadn't had time to unwrap on the first Christmas Day!
This is where I have to say...Spider is just the best! Christmas Day 1, he bought me flowers...Christmas Day 2, he bought me vegan take out (spicy singapore rice noodles...woah....they were unexpectedly tasty!), my favourite perfume (Angel by Thierry Mugler), and Alice in Wonderland calendar and...ALL FOUR...Lalaloopsy Dolls from Build a Bear...he wasn't sure if I'd want the proper clothes for each one as I've got quite a collection...I have five bears in my bed, and one on a seat in my bedroom...I even have the official wardrobe and a nice collection of outfits. So having looked through the options, I chose the proper outfits for each doll, plus shoes and a pair of official Lalaloopsy PJs...and some sleeper suits for my three of my bears. I think this year I might be going Lalaloopsy mad. I can't believe he got me all of them...I can't believe he knew I'd love them (I'd been looking at buying rag dolls earlier in the year because I used to have a great one as a kid...I hadn't told him that but he seems to know automatically the stuff I'll like! Maybe because he's a big kid just like me!).
Anyway, it's been fabulous...and we're spending new year together. I continue with my work over the Christmas and New Year period but because my work is flexible as far as timing goes, it means I can accommodate family socials and stuff without ending up with too much to do and too little time!
Just about to send out the latest newsletter...
Happy days hipsters! Keep on rockin' in the free world and be nice to each other! Love to all! <3
11th May 2015: Just about to start a dance session in the studio - then am scheduling myself an epic bubble bath with Lush stuff...Karma bubble bar, BNTBTBB honey scented wash, Godiva shampoo bar, American Cream conditioner and Sympathy for the Skin body lotion.
It's been quite a hectic 24 hours. Tipsy brought me me in a mouse this morning (I really wasn't that hungry though!) - she sat in the living room making a strange noise to alert me to the fact but I was ignoring it as I thought it was next door's cat asking at their door - she had the mouse in her mouth while she tried to call me so it was really muffled! It took a lot of messing about to get her to pick it back up and take it out after I went to see what was going on. So my morning meditation was set back a bit while I congratulated Tipsy on a job well done.
But things seem back up to date now and I've just watched some IT Crowd with dad, updated the mailing the list and set up the 24 hour Gift Offer. I have some temple work to do later but not too much so it's going to be quite an easy night for me and I'll be catching up with the certificates and admin tomorrow night.
Heavenly! I absolutely love smartphones and tablets these days. I honestly don't know how I managed without them; but because I can reply to student and client emails throughout the day, when I have an 'admin' day, it's really straight forward and much easier to fit in too. It's amazing how much technology has streamlined that side of my work - it's brilliant!
9th May 2015: I'm having a kind of weekend this weekend as my brother's over to catch up on Game of Thrones and watch some anime (Stein's Gate - fantastic!). I have a little ritual work to do and some attunements and will be doing these in the late schedule. Followed by epic bubble baths (I do the majority of my reading in the bath!) before bed.
I've made a yummy vegan chickpea and puy lentil stew today with tons of extra chilli, ginger and lemon. It's seriously tasty. I'm stunned by how cheap and how convenient it is. Each day I get to prepare my meals for the following day while I do my singing lesson (scales and so on) as I chop vegetables and prepare the slow cooker. It's crazy. I know a lot of people complain that they can't eat healthy food because it's too expensive. I don't know what they consider healthy food if they find it expensive because brown rice, chickpeas and lentils aren't expensive at all. Fresh vegetables and lots of quality seasoning ingredients...still works out massively cheaper than if I were buying convenience foods for every meal. So I don't have a clue where the argument that healthy food is too expensive comes from. I would definitely recommend a slow cooker and rice cooker to anyone who thinks eating healthy food is too much work!
Better get on....love love love Stein's Gate!
7th May 2015 (Additional): I just realised, after writing such an epic blog in an attempt to 'catch up', I forgot to put in some of the normal stuff! Doh!
I hope the last blog doesn't seem depressing or anything. I know terminal illness, death and being lied to by your fiance doesn't make for hugs and puppies exactly! But I genuinely see a good side to all things. Yes - it's terrible what happened with Wolf - I won't ever know the full facts and there are no facts that would legitimise the behaviour of all the other parties involved in my opinion. Regardless of that, I am grateful for the experience because it's shown me, don't excuse some of the weird.
On reflection I think I may excuse too much of the weird because I don't tend to judge people so much by what they do but by their intention (magickally speaking the intention is what matters and it's the intention that incurs the karma far more than the action - if you do bad things when you know better and you try to absolve yourself by arguing with yourself about what your motivation was, you incur a far more severe karmic debt - you can't plead ignorance with your own conscience and if you try, that's a sure fire way to drive yourself nuts!). Unfortunately, this philosophy has holes...and my experience with Wolf showed those up. I'll be far more cautious when it comes to turning a blind eye in the future. And quite frankly, 'actions speak louder than words' and 'empty vessels make most noise' could well top my cliched ponderings chart sometime! But seriously, I bounce back - my days are very full and I always have something to write in my gratitude journal every day. Who could ask for more!?
Some people have asked if I'm going to be taking a break from Mayastar while dad's ill. I won't be taking a break because my work is so important to me - and to my dad - but also because of the nature of the work and in particularly, how much templework I do, my schedule for my work is very flexible. Each night I have time 'slots' allocated for templework (spells, rituals, initiations or attunements) and I always break up my work and activities according to that basic pattern. That's the best thing - the flexibility of being able to allocate my work allows me to pursue my hobbies and stuff. I have to be organised and very disciplined of course! But the structure of organising the night into those slots means that I seem to get a lot more done and have more spare time than I ever did before I worked to a schedule. I guess they call that 'effective time management'!
Another thing to remember is that my dad still has months or years while he will be living with cancer - nothing's going to be changing too suddenly so it's something we can play by ear. And certainly as of the moment and for the foreseeable, my work will continue as usual.
Plus, the other part of my work that's not worked into the temple schedule is the admin and that's much more flexible. I can do most of it from my mobile or tablet when I'm on the go. So all in all, the flexibility of my work means taking a day off here or there is something I can do easily. And even on days I'm working, I can be flexible with how many hours I work, what type of work I do and where I do it etc. All in all in an average week I do about 35-50 hours work - but the way it's split up often means some days I do 9 hours and others maybe 3. But I work 7 days a week - I don't have weekends - so when you split up the hours of work over the full week and take into account some days (usually Friday, Saturday and Sunday have more spellwork because of the planetary influences) I work long hours some days, but far less on others.
Anyway, that's an overview of how my schedule pans out. It's ideal for me and although the more organised approach was bred out of necessity - I have some extremely busy months where I work loooooong hours for ritual work from time to time - and unless I organised it, I couldn't seem to fit in the admin - in the end I literally scheduled the admin and bothered to work out how much time different things took and how much time I dedicated to different things. And since then, I've realised that if you do allocate your time that way, you get a lot more done than if you just wing it. Or I do anyway! Works for me!
I also forgot to mention...I didn't do any of the planned shoots last year. Always something or other seemed to be taking priority.
Also, last year was very turbulent after Wolf left. I didn't know why he had left so I didn't know whether to expect him back at first. I had quite a bit to do reorganising some areas of the house after the building work and stuff was finished. So although I did have some time for writing (and I did a fair amount of ritual work and channelling work), I didn't allocate time for projects as I wasn't really sure how the year was going to pan out. So I pretty much worked my schedule week by week for quite a while.
I did the Wintergirl one and had several lined up (Queen of Hearts, Let Them Eat Cake, Angel of Death, The Cage - and a few other ideas too), I kept putting them off for various reasons....I hadn't waist trained over spring and summer; I dyed my hair black; I cut my hair off; I was too busy writing; I was waiting for a new wig from Rockstar (absolutely amazing wigs by the way!)...just all in all, various things and nothing serious but by Christmas I was a bit surprised to realise I'd missed my Autumn 'pencilling in'. So right now, I still have them pending but I haven't scheduled shoots for them. When I do they will of course be absolutely fantastic! I can't wait.
Maniac's interested in doing more location shoots too so I was planning studio based shoots but may incorporate some other projects too. I have some fantastic corsets still to showcase! From Morgana Femme Couture, Serinde, Boom Boom Baby, Sparklewren, Puimond, Valkyrie, Atelier Sylphe - really really fantastic stuff. And also some truly unique pieces and costume pieces from Kirsteen White, Lorriange, Gothic Burlesque, Alina Ionescu Design, Ophelia's Folly...actually tons and tons of different styles too - great big frothy tutus and organza, silk and lace bustles - tons of steampunky stuff - but also quite a lot of costume pieces that really lend themselves to something sublimely theatrical!
I'm confident that it's going to be truly stunning when I finally pull my finger out! At the moment I do need to prioritise the work on the Mayastar website - that's really important and something I'll have to invest time in over the coming few months. I would hope to be able to make a start on some shoots realistically by the autumn.
I have neglected my corsetting so I'll need to train. I don't need to train an awful lot to get down to 20" though - it's not a huge difference from my natural waist because I've got a very small waist! And I suppose that makes me slack off from consistent training sometimes. But I love to corset even if I'm only moderately laced! My day to day corsets are just stunning (Morgana Femme Couture) - with a mix of patterns and florals, polka dots, gothic silks and satin, pastel silks, pearly white satin coutil - really gorgeous single layer corsets for summer! Oh yes - in the big conversion for my dance studio (which double as a photographic studio), I also have a massive area dedicated to storing my entire wardrobe - costume and daily wear - so I guess that means my studio trebles as a dressing room (funnily enough, when I originally moved in, it was my dressing room before I converted it to bedroom...so it's come full circle!).
Have some ritual work to do before bed so I'd better get myself organised! XX
7th May 2015: Having the most fantastic week. Finished writing a course that I had actually begun 2 years ago. There are tons of draft copies of courses that I haven't typed up and partly it was because I was planning to convert my website to a new programme and that was to take priority. In the end, I didn't actually have time to learn the new software. Wolf was supposed to do that, but unfortunately, he didn't. And then he dropped out leaving everyone in the lurch and I had a do a lot of reorganising after he left so it was put on a back burner. Thankfully my fantastically talented brother stepped up and has been working on converting the site over to the new software - it's a big site and unfortunately, the Microsoft Frontpage formatting has tons and tons of contradictions and errors in it so it's a pain in the bottom of a job. While it's being converted I haven't run updates to the site with any new courses though. And there are about 20 new ones that are made available to newsletter subscribers on special offers as exclusives, but aren't part of the main syllabus at the moment. So if you would like details of special offers, new courses and so on, please email me at email@example.com and I'll send you a copy of the current newsletter X
Other than this, my shoulder is fully healed and I'm back in the game; on days I don't have Tantric Shamanic Rituals (which have a lot of choreographed dance and can be quite intensive!), I'm doing tons of rebounding. It's fun and I can do it while I watch TV or listen to music. It's bizarre but bouncing seems to have a really beneficial effect on my sleep - more so than other exercise in fact. It's such a great thing. I can't recommend it highly enough.
My dad's going to be starting chemo soon for his brain tumour - his health is good and his oncologist is hopeful he will be able to have chemo to keep the tumour in check for a year. We are hoping to stack those odds! So I'm using magick, prayer and violet flame energy...also am trying out a new healing technique as dad's always supportive and enthusiastic about my work! In fact, in my capacity as his Soul Midwife during his transition (we don't tend to dwell on the terminal part of terminal illness since, as they say in Game of Thrones, 'All men must die' - and to dwell on the last bit of an illness kind of ignores the fact that if you do get a telegram warning you, that your transition is approaching, you don't bury someone before they're actually dead! So we don't consider the terminal bit just yet because, before the terminal bit, he will be living with his cancer!), dad's getting to see a side of my work he hasn't seen before and I'm getting to use areas of my previous study that I haven't used before too. As a very general overview, as a family, we are considering this process a journey; a journey we will all make one day; a journey we are blessed to be able to make together; the family supporting each other and dad. Dad's 'going on ahead', but we will all follow and many have gone before.
As usual of course, my family displays the usual irreverence over any situation! Laughing ourselves stupid in the hospital as dad quipped "Well, brain surgery - not exactly rocket science is it?" and I retort, "If I had a terminal brain tumour, I think I'd try to put that out of my head". We are probably not orthodox in our view of things. My family are all quite philosophical and generally we're all quite self aware and not averse to discussing 'heavy' topics. So if anyone's having concerns even about death and dying, it's something we can all talk openly about - share our views and ideas and feelings - no one takes the attitude that talking about 'real stuff' is in any way maudlin or bleak. If it seems maudlin or bleak, the chances are we have thrashed it out in an all nighter several times until we find it kind of funny or are resolved in some philosophical way.
I start to realise during this journey that this isn't the case for most people though. For me, sometimes I don't really relate very much to people who don't have autism and subscribe to a lot of behavioural restrictions based on social rules. I don't observe them. I never have. I'm open and honest to a fault. I am happy to talk about any subject, even if that subject's considered 'inappropriate'...but my family is full of 'eccentrics' and my attitude is accepted and shared to some degree by every member of my family and social circle. I sometimes forget just how much I have in common with those around me. Aspergers is a kind of higher functioning autism. That means I'm v clever and v quick. I have tons of information in my mind and I am always learning and always enthusiastic about it! And certainly other members of my family are similar in their behaviour and genius level IQs! So often, I forget that for other people, for example, they may have concerns about death and dying but not feel they can openly discuss such things with their family or friends.
I kind of understand why some people might prefer not to. Obviously that's down to the individual. But I think it's a concern that people may want to but feel unable to. I hope it's something I can address at some stage in my work. I supply a lot of addition tuition with my courses, covering such things as philosophy, meditation, prayer, energy anatomy, the science behind energy healing and so on - giving all students a broad base of knowledge and ideas that can help to provide, even beginners, with a perspective and a context for understanding how things fit together. It's proved to be extremely helpful to many students and opened them up to new ideas and to some personal epiphanies which wasn't necessarily my intention when I wrote them but I am extremely happy to have been able to assist people in their life journey using my natural talents.
In fact, my dad's so impressed with my natural talents and the way I've assisted people through Mayastar and Maya Magickal that he's become very vocal in his promotion! I'm such a natural hermit, I'm not used to the attention but I must admit, it's kind of nice to see that other people can recognise that what makes me unique is precisely what I excel at. My Aspergers is such a gift and a gift that, through my work, I share with others. I think that's an important thing for people to consider: What makes you special? Because whatever it is that makes you special is usually what you excel at.
When you share what you love with people in a way that benefits others, the way it benefits you and those close to you is immeasurable. My dad feels an affinity with all my students because he loves to learn from me and what he's learnt has helped him in his current life stage. A situation that could be so traumatic is challenging of course, we all love dad immensely and we're going to miss him...but we all believe, love never dies and we'll be together again. We're not precisely sure of the mechanics but we are all kind of excited about the adventure.
It would be very easy for us all to say 'it's tragic - dad shouldn't have to die - it's not fair'...but what exactly is tragedy? Dad's 67...some people have another 20 years. Does that mean it's tragic? Well...tragic to me is a kid dying of a brain tumour; or a natural disaster that kills thousands...a death that is from a 'natural' disease that's not caused by the years he spent smoking and eating too many pies - it's just one of those weird ones that doesn't have a cause usually - very rare in fact as it's a primary cancer and it's location means it's inoperable and the type means it grows quick and also that even if they did operate, it would grow back and he'd have less time because the surgery would be more knackering than chemo. But if there's a bright side at all, dad's embracing the process and as a family we are united in that journey. That's beautiful. A wonderful journey to be able to make together. We all know it will be hard for each of us in different ways at different times, and so, as dad's official 'Soul Midwife', I'm acting as a sounding board and facilitator - and helping everyone to feel secure in discussing their worries and what they feel with each other and with dad. For dad it's supremely important that we don't all hide the fact that some of this is hard...nor that we hide the fact that we love him and we love each other and we're all doing good in the world and are happy with our lives etc. If we were less than honest over what we find challenging I'm sure dad would worry a lot more because he'd be concerned we weren't preparing ourselves for this journey very well and we'd end up traumatised.
I think actually that, that is precisely why we all take the attitude we do - because what's actually traumatic is to not be part of that journey. How blessed are we? We have been given notice dad's transition is coming soon and how it will happen roughly. We've all talked openly and honestly. We've laughed and cried. We've confided in each other. We've made crazy jokes and all put in bids for who's going to get dad's radiotherapy face mask (ME! ME! Dad decided it was just the kind of thing I have in my bizarre home - and I had the best idea too - I'm going to be making a lamp out of it - we're calling it his Death Mask - but it's green and with all the talk of laser beams zapping a tumour I keep thinking of it as Shrek's Death Star - hmmm! Hopefully dad will be well enough to help me with the lamp!). Anyway, all of us went through similar things - but because we were able to share it and discuss it - share the things we felt were important and the things that worried us and the things we felt weird about, we very quickly arrived at an acceptance and naturally pulled together. Because that's what family's do. And not just families!
I really have to mention some of my friends. Really fantastic people. My dad's got fantastic friends and I'm lucky to count many of them as mine too! I must mention...Marky Mark, Clare, Pete the Ted, Vic, Mick, Sarah, FB, Spike, Sue and Mr Bear...fantastic people!
I will also mention something that happened recently...dad was sorting out some old papers one night (the steroids make him antsy!) and found the really weird letter sent to him from Wolf's parents a year ago. Now this whole situation was bizarre and it won't make sense...because it doesn't make sense to any of us even now! So a quick recap. Me and Wolf had been friends since 2005; in 2010 we became exclusive and soon after we were handfasted in a private ritual. Although we're both 40 odd, for some reason he felt his family wouldn't be accepting of not being a Christian or of my being a Witch - let alone the fact that he was essentially married in a pagan ritual. I wasn't bothered by this to be honest. Some Christians are not widely read; they don't know anything about magick or ritual at all and they have some weird ideas about Satan...which make no sense to any Witch because we don't believe in such a thing in the first place! Anyway, they are older than my parents and they are conservative and were church going Christians so I didn't consider this anything odd.
Then in 2013, Wolf decided he wanted to move in with me. I agreed to this. We intended to legally marry and so announced an official engagement. My brother moved out. Everything was organised at enormous expense to accommodate these changes. And for just over a year he was living with me. I know that my family had some concerns; he wasn't helping with my work and he wasn't working. But I felt he would settle in and find his feet and stuff. In early 2014 my dad began work on converting the spare bedroom into a dance studio for me. Wolf was supposedly helping with this and I was busy with my work and everything seemed normal. Except for some weird thing that happened in the January where he indicated that he thought his family were talking about him behind his back. I put it down to him being tired and bit paranoid...I wasn't exactly sure what to think - whether there was anything for him to worry about or whether he was worrying about nothing. But other than that one incident, nothing happened that made me think there was anything wrong with him. Until...
...one day in March. The studio was finished. Wolf had, had a cold/cough and wasn't sleeping well. I didn't get it and I continued with my work as usual. Then one day, he suddenly started getting upset and agitated and it turned out (according to him...and I have to say 'according to him' because I have no idea what the actual truth of the matter was/is) he had been on the phone to his mum and he admitted he had told some sort of lie about me. I actually didn't ask what he had lied about as he seemed upset that he had done it and was concerned his mum would now be worried about him. So he was going to visit his mum and dad for a couple of days. I didn't really know what to think. I could only assume that he was over tired and had gone on a massive whinge or something. He had a fever and was throwing up a lot so I thought perhaps he was a bit delirious to be honest. But it was very weird - and even now, I have no idea what the truth of the matter was!
So, off he went. Then two days later, a letter arrived from his mum saying he wasn't coming back. It didn't say why. And not only was it weird that his mum was writing a letter on behalf of her 40 year old son (to me this seemed very odd in itself), but the letter was sent to my dad. He was perplexed and I was absolutely livid. Who does that? What sort of person does that? In what universe and what circumstance is that ever normal??? I still can't answer that! Anyway...for anyone who wondered what happened to Wolf, your guess is as good as mine. From my side - the above is what happened. Add to that contact from his family saying he was very well and was getting a job, and other contact saying he was getting professional help because he wasn't well...I have no idea! I still don't even know what the lies he told his family about me were. But the contents of his mum's letter may shed some light...
On finding it in his paperwork, dad was about to shred it but then decided to ask me in case I wanted it for anything (magick etc I guess!). And while he had it to hand he read it and he was fuming! He was really really angry. And it was over something that hadn't actually registered at the time and didn't really register with him either as it just seems like inappropriate wording in an inappropriate letter sent inappropriately to him...but it refers to me as "an enormous inconvenience" - the implication now seeming that whatever Wolf lied about made this seem like something that should make sense. Of course it doesn't. That would make sense only if I was somehow ill or deficient or dependent on my dad/others. I'm not any of those things so no one really picked up on this strange sentiment at the time as it would seem an absurd thing to say about someone like me. Unless you were writing it under a misapprehension. Or you considered Aspergers/Autism to be some kind of deficiency. So I have no idea now...what on earth could Wolf have said that led to that comment? Does that comment actually originate from anything Wolf said or lied about or is it something his mother (who only met me twice) independently thought?
It wouldn't make much sense given my actual situation, my work, my lifestyle, my personality whoever it came from. But my dad was justifiably angry on my behalf! I could just imagine him marching on Taunton to avenge my honour and demand some kind of explanation!Considering our monumental irreverence, everyone I know has a very strong sense of honour and morality - so the attitude of my friends and family regarding, not just Wolf's behaviour, but the subsequent behaviour of his family, was one of outrage really - on my behalf. For myself, I don't generally get angry - but I must admit, if it wouldn't have involved any effort on my part, I would have wanted an answer as well.
As it is, I was very upset and very disappointed. In retrospect, I can't even guess at who Wolf was lying to and when and how long he had lied for. But to me, it was all a massive scam. Whether he intended that or not, he just ripped me off and then deliberately tried to throw me under the bus in order to justify his actions. And the most unfortunate part is probably that, in order to screw me over he has screwed over his whole family by lying to them. I don't know if he really did admit to his family that he had lied about me or not but judging by that letter and the fact that not a single one of them has apologised for his or their behaviour, I don't think so. Though, I guess people have very different ideas of right and wrong. To me and the kind of people I am surrounded with, deception is considered bad. Breaking promises is considered worse. Being a sheep in Wolf's clothing? That's probably the worst scam going!
So now, a year on, since this strange thing happened, my only thoughts are that, I still have no fricking clue what really happened because when someone shows themselves a liar, suddenly, the jury is out on everything they ever said or did. So to me, I feel like I had a very lucky escape. I can't even guess what his motivation was. I know some people will look at the situation and think, well he jacked in his job, moved in with his girlfriend and then didn't work and just lived off her and then went to live off his parents. I know most people think the bit about getting professional help was probably true and that he was somehow 'ill' and didn't tell any of us. Perhaps. But I actually doubt it. If was 'ill' enough that he couldn't be held responsible for his action I don't really see that he could have held down jobs and stuff in the past. I don't know. Anyone's guess is as good as mine!
I know some people contacted me last year about it and I'm sorry I didn't reply but the fact was, I didn't know what to tell anyone - I didn't know what the truth was but neither did I know the extent to which he had lied to me, nor the extent to which he had/continues to lie to his family. I also wasn't sure whether there would be a footnote or anything would happen that explained the situation. Or whether there'd be an apology. I also am aware that the bare facts sound really bad - to anyone reading it, it sounds really bad and it would be easy to malign Wolf and his family based on those things - but there are reasons why I don't think that's appropriate. Yes, it was a really sh***y thing to happen to me. It was terrible of course. But if Wolf is ill, he needs help. If he is a scammer, I'm sure he'll get his comeuppance. His family certainly came off looking strange because of the different stories different members of the family were telling - and their behaviour. But I don't know how much of that they are culpable for; did Wolf continue to lie to them about me? What did he even lie about? I didn't know and it made it impossible for me to judge. But now it's a full year later and I'm drawing a line under it because I no longer care if there's a footnote. If there is, it's too late to make any difference to me or my life. I have stuff to do in my life and stuff that's important to me and knowing what makes people I would consider unkind or rude tick just isn't one of those things. So I still don't know the answers. I never will know the answers. You can draw whatever conclusion you want but do always bear in mind, I can only give you my side of the experience. I don't know why Wolf did it and I don't even know exactly what he did. So I can't make judgements about his actions or his family's actions.
Leaving a great long gap and no answer to the people that asked is unfair to those who were following my blog as I have always been open and honest and I'm not going to stop now just because something inexplicable happened. I can tell you the actual events from my side and the feelings from my side and my friends and family etc. But I can't even guess at the motivation of the other people involved. I know to some it may look like I was being somehow bullied because of my autism. I don't know. I doubt that was anyone's motivation. But I don't know. I don't know what could have been said about me that would lead someone to refer to me as an inconvenience to my father...that's too odd. I don't live with him or anything. I bought my own home when I was 24 and I've lived in the same place since. Anyway - the long and short is, something really odd happened and all I know for sure is that Wolf turned out to be deceptive; I wouldn't be with someone who was deceptive and so I can only consider myself lucky and best of out of it. I hope he sorts himself out and I hope he doesn't abuse anyone's trust like that in the future because when people lie, they have to live with the fact that they can't trust anyone as their own yardstick is inadequate. Their lives are far harder than those of honest people and so the karmic fall out for liars is pretty severe and pretty instantaneous. If an honest person loses one night's sleep worrying about the liars in the world, you can rest assured, the liar loses a hundred!
Plus, in the interests of always looking for the silver lining, it did prompt me to make some changes in my life - reorganising my routine - reorganising my home etc. So all in all, things worked out for the best and worked out even better because I have a habit of making sure I keep my eyes on the road ahead no matter what's going on!
Goodness me....that was a supremely epic post! But it does bring everything neatly up to date and hopefully explains as best as it's possible for me to explain, wtf actually happened last year!
On an entirely different note (don't want to end with a story that's so Jerry Springer I can't believe it happened in my life!), I really really recommend Stein's Gate - anime series about travel. It's fantastic. Really funny and really heavy and really fantastic characters. I'm thinking of starting Fairy Tail (by the makers of Full Metal Alchemist) - but Collection Four is not available on Amazon and when I buy it I want to buy at least half of the available collections. So I'm watching like a hawk in the hope that will come up soon!
Also in the news! My dad's given my a very early birthday present - an autoharp (chorded zither). As played by many a country star...also popular in the sixties with Janis Joplin and Joni Mitchell. I already love it! I think it's a bit easier to play for anyone who plays rhythm guitar as I do; I'm working on a couple of strumming patterns and trying to get used to using keys for chords at the moment but I do absolutely love it!
Now...that's been a super epic blog so now I'm going to have a well deserved bubble bath and chill out with a good book for while!
Also, massive love to those who have continued to follow my blog! I am really sorry I neglected it for so long. Partly for the same reason I haven't added new courses to the syllabus on Mayastar - I will be moving my other sites to the new software once I've learnt it and my blog will of course be moved over. But it's not something I'll be rushing!
<3 M xxx
30th April 2015: WARNING...LONG MEANDERING BLOG ENTRY! MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME!
I'm having the most fabulous week! I am kind of weird - little things make me happy! Of the little things that have made me happy this week I must mention a selection of gems...
I am the laziest person ever when it comes to food. I like what most people would consider bland food and my main food intake tends to be something very plain. When people say they fast on bread and water, to me that seems like a luxury - bread has tons of flavour but usually is too salty for my liking! But I have really made an effort to get some vegetables into my diet. I rarely eat meat. So rare that most people think I'm a vegetarian. But the thing is, I actually don't really like meat so I have never eaten meat. Literally may have it a few times a year - or may go a few years without any and I wouldn't notice because there's no sense of deprivation since I don't actually fancy it. If I ever have a craving for meat, it tends to mean I'm coming down with a cold and that in itself is a rarity.
But because of my 'restricted' diet, I often fall into the trap of eating rice cakes or popcorn for every meal and after a very short while I'm living on snacks and the healthiest snack and main source of nutrition is nuts (generally pecans, hazelnuts and pistachios!). It's not a horrendous diet. There's no saturated fats. No transfats. Very little sugar. Too much dairy gives me a rash so I don't have much dairy at all either. If I fancy something hot, I may eat a tin of sweetcorn for a meal...but I'm aware to most people, that's a really stupid meal! The trouble is, if I buy in food I very well may not eat it so I have to consider it carefully or I'd really be wasteful. But in the end I bit the bullet and did something pretty radical for me...I got a slow cooker and a rice cooker. Now my 'staple' foods have shifted to mostly brown rice and vegan chickpea and lentil stew. Something I can cook while I sleep and keep warm all day, eating it as when I fancy it. And it's crazy low in calories and high in nutrition. Within weeks of changing my diet, my family wowed at my appearance. I haven't lost weight (like I said in my previous post, I'm sure I'm over 'my normal' at the moment but I know I'm not overweight strictly speaking so I can't very well whinge about it!) to any significant degree but I haven't exactly tried yet! (Usually my weight stays around the same mark - but if it gets up or I start to feel my hormones are a bit out of whack, I tend to do a Master Cleanser fast for week or two to balance out and give my body a rest. But I haven't done that for....hmmm....over 6 months now - usually I'd consider doing it 4 to 6 times a year the normal level for me and I may begin a MC this coming Monday). Anyway, what people have noticed is that my skin suddenly looks very 'glowy'. Generally people mistake my age. I'm 42 this year and most people based on my appearance think I'm ten years younger than I am. My family now insist I look 15 years younger...really? Have I un-aged by another five years just from changing my diet??? That seems kind of amazing!
I actually have looked at lot at the statistics of clinical trials about food. About dairy. About meat. About the best diets to prevent heart disease, brain problems and cancers. But the findings??? Very generally, it barely matters at all what you eat. As long as you don't eat too much of it. Being overweight or obese is far more dangerous to your health and risk of many diseases we associate as 'age related' - they are in fact more strictly speaking 'lifestyle related'. And if you don't smoke, don't drink, take regular exercise (now recommended 60-90 DAILY - none of that 3 times a week stuff!) and don't overeat or be overweight, these are indicators for both health and longevity. Your diet does make some difference of course - the best diet is considered now to be vegetarian/vegan but with fish once a day. No meat at all! With that in mind, the idea of a healthy diet seemed kind of less important. But as I thought more about it, I really fancied the stew I was concocting in my mind!
There are certain conditions and diseases that are definitely related to what you eat and which are mostly avoidable by lifestyle choices...some can be very debilitating even if not life threatening. And some are deadly. Colon cancer. Diabetes. Liver disease. Emphysema. Lung cancer. Gastro-intestinal cancers in general. Artificial sweeteners are perhaps one of the most controversial chemical food additives and may be implicated in conditions from brain tumours and epilepsy to all kinds of gastro tumours and other complications. (I don't have artificial sweeteners personally - I never have considered them to be healthy and nothing I've read about them in the last 20 years has convinced me they're safe!). Gout. Some types of arthritis. Some osteoporosis. Things that can be massively debilitating. But taking steps to avoid them - healthy diet, don't get fat and get exercise every day - well, that's not exactly a hardship. In fact, daily exercise has been shown to relieve depression and other mood disorders more effectively (and with other good side effects for that matter) than any medication. Surely it's a better option!? And meditation too - reduced blood pressure and stress. Reduces the levels of cortisol in the blood and prevents some damage to your circulatory system that can actually cause damage to your organs over a lifetime, essentially from stress! Surely, meditation is preferable to drugs to reduce stress?
I'm not sure why other people don't consider the benefits of lifestyle choices to be significant enough to warrant making those choices to be honest? Perhaps they just think it won't happen to them? Or perhaps they kind of think there'll be a pill for everything anyway. I honestly don't know. You can't exactly avoid every ailment - obviously, we're all going to die of something eventually and if you prevent death from heart disease and stroke, your chances of dying of something else go up! But for me, far more than the question of what ultimately will kill me, is the fact that, I would really really not like to live to something like 90 but to be debilitated by lifestyle avoidable conditions for the last 20 or 30 years. And because modern medicine is that good, we literally can stay alive for decades but with all kinds of disabilities that may be avoidable. That's a personal choice obviously - if you think that drinking, smoking or eating so much you become overweight are more enjoyable than being alive, you don't see any merit in changing your lifestyle choices! But for me, far more than being alive, I think the motivation not to compromise my health and end up with chronic conditions screwing up my quality of life that makes me consider the healthy options as the most enjoyable ones. I can't eat cheese without remembering how many zumba classes a middle ages friend of mine had to miss due to her gout! I'd hate that. No cheese is worth that to me as I enjoy the dancing far more than I enjoy the cheese!
Oopsie...I'm whittering on about healthy lifestyle and that's probably boring! Sorry about that...getting off the soap box...backing away with my hands in the air....aaaaand....relax....
So...other gems that have put a smile on my face....
ANIME! I'm absolutely loving Tora Dora! And have a good stash of anime series to watch. Also loved loved loved Stein's Gate and am already rewatching it with my brother. You simply can't beat good anime for a good vibe.
BOOKS! I love reading. But at the moment I'm particularly loving the Moth Saga (can't remember the author's name) on my Kindle. Also enjoying The Imitation of Christ; the meditations of Consoling the Heart of Jesus (which is a book that's considered to be a spiritual retreat but I'm reading it very slowly and enjoying it immensely). I've also got some great audiobooks on the go at the moment: The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying; Wayne Dyer's 'Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life'; Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe and 'The Perfect Lie' by Emily Barr (a novel). I'm generally happiest when I have half a dozen books on the go as I like to pick and choose which subject I read on depending on my mood.
GAME OF THRONES! Catching up on Game of Thrones series with my brother and he'll be coming over in a few days so I'll be watching some more soon. Fantastic!
MUSIC! Really loving Taylor Swift's 1989 - I loved it as soon as it came out but it's standing the test of time with me because I'm still listening to it now! Also high on my favourites list are Lana Del Rey and also the Frozen Soundtrack....this week anyway! I'm very changeable!
BATHS! I have always absolutely loved pampering myself. But it really doesn't take much! A bit of subdued lighting, a good book and a luxury bubble bath generally. Then a nice cocooning with luxury body lotions and moisturisers and I feel great. Because I don't fall asleep during meditation, it's also a good opportunity to meditate in a long bubble bath...or afterwards when I'm really relaxed. And I always enjoy a bath best when I've done some good cardio. Some healthy endorphins can make everything better! I absolutely adore Lush bath stuff but unfortunately their penchant for Sodium Lauryl Sulfate leaves my skin dry. Dry enough that I can only use their bubble bars a few times a week. But in between I can use my favourite hydrating bath oil (Fenjal - smells heavenly) and Dove cream bath. Dove shower gel and sebamed body wash also prevent over drying of my skin from Lush's more astringent shower gels. On non Lush bath days, I can use any body lotion but on Lush bath days I have to play it by ear and generally use a body oil before I put on my lotion for a bit of extra moisturisation. Face cleansing - I tend to use some kind of cream cleanser first - and I'm not fussy about the cream cleanser - but I wash it off with water rather than use cotton wood. Then I ALWAYS was with Johnson's Clean & Clear Cream Cleanser. It's non foaming. Doesn't dry my skin. Is good for removing make up. It has salicyclic acid. And I've used it for years now. At least 15...maybe 20. It's perfect for me. I think perhaps it doesn't suit people who wear make up often though as people I've known in the past who tried it found they got spots as if it wasn't a deep enough cleanser for them. But all of them wore makeup and I didn't so perhaps they would have different needs - because it's not a soapy cleanser at all! Face moisturising, the same as always, Creme de la Mer - nothing else is even nearly as good as CDLM. And since I never waste money on cigarettes and alcohol, I don't really consider it an expense. For moisturiser it is, but for a lifestyle choice it's really not. A jar of CDLM lasts so long that it probably works out to be about £20 a month. So that may be expensive for moisturiser but it's not expensive. And I totally love it. How much of the unaging effect is due to my continued use of CDLM??? I've no idea at all. But I had terrible dry skin patches that were very irritating and my usual moisturiser started to give me a rash so I switched to a different one and that gave spots and in the end I'd wasted money switching to all different ones trying to find something that would break the ridiculous cycle...and as if by magick, a week of using CDLM and the dryness was gone. Spots were gone. Irritation was gone. It was so amazing that I didn't stop using it and I never will. Nothing else was even vaguely close. The body cream is also fantastic. And just like they advertise, the body cream is so great you don't even need to use it every day! I've never used any kind of body moisturiser that was so good you didn't need to use it every day!
Oops again...I so often seem to end up waxing lyrical about CDLM when I'm blogging. It's terrible. But CDLM really is that fantastic!
BELLICON! The best rebounders in the world. Instead of springs they have bungees. Mine are pink and black and I have a large one and a small one (the small one's good for in my studio but the big one is good for when I'm bouncing in the living room). They are absolutely silent because no squeaking like normal ones. You can use them barefoot. Very low impact and the bouncing is very good for digestion as it essentially massages your insides as they're subjected to increased gravitational pull followed by weightlessness. It's surprisingly fun too! Plus because it's not too intensive, you can bounce for hours if you want! Love love love love love it!
NINTENDO DS! Love playing Word Jong on it - it's my fave word game and has a daily puzzle where you have to beat a target score - it's kind of fun! I really love my DS but Word Jong, Animal Crossing and Sudoku get the most use!
Many other bits and bobs created smiles in the past few days...but these things stick in my mind because I really love it when simple things make a day better. I love being in a state of gratitude and when little things make you happy, you can spend weeks and weeks in a perpetual state of gratitude! Every one's a winner! XXX
Happy days and super love!!! XXX M
27th April 2015: I've been horrendously lazy in keeping my blog up to date...I'm really sorry to anyone who has been waiting.
There's a lot going on which means some of my plans are on back burners at the moment. But I'm really enjoying working on some intensive ritual programmes with new clients as well as for friends and family at the moment. It's great! Plus I've been working on some new ideas for dna repatterning using cellular memory triggered energetically. Working on two test subjects at the moment to see how that works out with different kinds of condition. So it's a bit too soon to say as yet whether it's a goer as a spell but I'll continue to work on it.
I was planning to go on the Master Cleanse diet this year - I slacked off dance in Feb/Mar because of my epilepsy. I have temporal lobe epilepsy and prefer not to medicate for it because my seizures are generally caused by flashing lights or similar effects and tiredness. I have had some full tonic clonics but I advised the neurologist, I didn't feel happy taking a preventative medication daily when it's side effects long term weren't actually known, but the mid term side effects included cognitive problems, insomnia, mood problems and memory problems (essentially 'brain damage' in my book!). So with medical supervision I quit those meds. But it turned out medication I had for sleep must have also affected my seizures. I didn't realise at all at the time - I only realised when I stopped taking any sleeping medication - I take natural herbal supplements to help me sleep - but from time to time have used prescription meds. But I've never had problems on them or off them until this time. I think maybe I had taken them for a longer period or just not stopped taking them for as long in between or something. Thankfully, meditation and changing my exercise habits to avoid anything that creates any kind of optical illusion that can trigger them (funnily enough, reading seemed to be one of the worst triggers - but it meant I discovered the wonderful world of Audibles from Amazon so it wasn't so bad!)...and just being aware of the signs really, was plenty enough to prevent any serious problems and after a few weeks they got less and less until now, I feel perfectly normal.
So...I started my usual workout and was thinking of going on the MC but was a bit hesitant because fasting has such a stimulating effect on the body and I didn't want to aggravate my TLE...so I stuck to a healthy vegan diet instead. Yummy. I'm not really vegan but I so rarely eat meat or dairy that I can go days as a vegan! Anyway...it wasn't my diet so much that turned out to be my big oops - I'm not sure what was the original cause but I pulled a muscle in my shoulder. It was quite bad so I didn't do any exercise for a couple of days and then decided I'd start off with my Bellicon rebounder as I thought I must have lost significant aerobic fitness in the time I was being (possibly overly) cautious about triggering more partial seizures. I didn't feel I'd worked particularly hard and all was ok. But the next day I did the same and after an hour (I usually do 2 hours dance/exercise a day), my shoulder started to hurt. So I stopped realising it was likely to be quite a nasty injury after all and I'd probably just made it a million times worse by doing too much exercise...oopsie again!#
I was totally right! I woke up the next day unable to turn my head from side to side and with my left arm aching so much I nearly put it in a sling to try to take the stress off my shoulder! What an idiot! The lesson being, if you have a minor injury, rest it. Because if you aggravate it...well, it took maybe a couple of weeks before it stopped hurting and stopped feeling stiff. This time of course, I was careful to pay close attention to how it felt and how mobile it was and stuff. No way was I risking that again!
Now it's back to normal but I feel really horribly bloated. I'm not going to weigh myself but I'm sure I'm over my normal level (and a quick add up in my head based on the amount of exercise I usually do I reckon I could have put on about 10lbs...though I can't remember the last time I weighed myself so it doesn't really give me any idea of what I weigh!) so I think I'll go on a diet. Part of me thinks the MC is best...but I think maybe that's because I'm inherently lazy and I like the spiritual component of a good detox!
Anyway...I shall see how I go. And now my shoulder's better and I can exercise normally (touch wood), I can't wait to get my groove on! My new concocted Zumba playlist is now 120 minutes long so I may scale it back down a bit while I build up to normal! I've already worked out a more sensible ballet barre with plenty of stretching as I do have a tendency to over do it a bit. Especially bearing in mind, even when I think I haven't been doing any dancing, I'm still doing ritual work and I include dance in that...so I'm never completely sedentary!
Well...I am decided that I prefer to maintain my weight at between 8 and 8 and a half stone. I know even when I'm what I would consider over my normal weight, strictly speaking I'm not over weight at all, it's enough to make pointe work, hard work. Hard work in the sense that I actually consider any extra weight to be an injury risk and ballet's far too enjoyable for me to risk the kind of injury that might stop me dancing well into my little-old-lady-hood! Also, I LOVE corsets. But I find them most comfortable when my weight's the very low end of normal for my height. So I don't really need scales because I can feel when my weight's not optimal and feel when it is.
This brings me to an interesting point I found out last week. There was a programme on about large models; some of them overweight and some clinically obese. The programme was about fashion and stuff like that. And it seemed very positive and essentially promoting the acceptance of different body types. I considered that very positive and didn't have any objections of course. Until I was referred to a news article about the actual statistics about the health implications. On average, being just overweight knocks 3 years off your life expectancy. On average, being obese knocks 8 years off your life. That's the same as smoking. And smoking was one promoted as fashionable but now we consider that inappropriate because of the health implications. I don't know what other people think...but there is a curious double standard when it comes to weight. In the West we consider it somehow a political issue. It's not 'PC' to tell someone they're overweight. You must never even use the word 'fat'. Other cultures don't have that double standard and are happy to call a spade a spade. I'm not sure why that's not the case in the West. And far from being a political issue or an issue of prejudice, if being obese knocks as much time off your life as smoking on average, why don't we view the excess weight the same way we view the hacking cough or furrowed face of a hardened cigarette smoker?
Honestly, I'm really not sure about all the health implications of carrying excess weight. But another good reason (even if I didn't think dance was more important...I think I would consider my health more important than over eating. After all, eating more than you need to eat is an eating disorder) not to want to carry excess weight, at least for me, is the consideration of the wear an tear on the joints; the problems with your heart; high blood pressure; the diabetes risk; stroke; increased risk of blood clots and so on. But not just for the fact that they may kill you - even more for that fact that they might not kill you but if you compromise your health you will likely end up with some level of disability. Your mobility may be limited. Diabetes can affect your eyesight and all kinds. And these would all be serious impairments to my life even if I didn't think first and foremost, dance is what I love to do.
In the same way, smoking would be bad, not just because it on average will kill you sooner...but much much worse than that, you may get heart problems, lung problems, cancers related to smoking. Blood clots. All kinds of respiratory problems. Dying young due to smoking is bad...but when you consider those that end up with emphysema (80% of emphysema cases are caused by smoking by the way!), it's not just an early death, it's a really protracted period of restricted activity. You may end up dependent on all kinds of drugs and even on oxygen in order to live. Suddenly it looks far less 'cool'.
I wonder if the same thing will happen with the promotion of overweight/obesity?? Will people ever look at it and see the health implications? Or is this a phenomenon where some people will genuinely consider there is an aesthetic principle in the promotion of this body type that is more important than any health risk; and somehow more important than addressing the fact that over eating is an eating disorder every bit as serious as under eating??
I really am not sure at all. I actually didn't realise just how damaging to health being over weight was to be honest. I hadn't looked into that because it's not been a concern for me. I've always been more motivated to keep a healthy size because I enjoy physical activities - so my ideal is a healthy body and nothing to do with its size or shape. But if a healthy body is denoted by a healthy size then it does follow that I'd naturally find that more attractive to me personally. Different people will surely prefer different body shapes...and perhaps the differences depend to some extent on what they personally enjoy in life.
It's interesting anyway. What seemed like a very good and positive idea in that documentary actually looked kind of sinister when I considered that all the people they were promoting for being overweight would have serious health implications. If they were pushing someone to smoke cigarettes for the sake of advertising a fashion brand, everyone would object.
Anyway...that's all a bit serious and I'm not in a very serious mood tonight! Got some intensive ritual work to be getting on with and just set up the 24 Hour Gift Offer for the Lightworker Archangelic Links Attunement Programme! One of my favourite courses. Wonderful manuals - and very inspirational! Thoroughly love sending the attunements for AAL <3
But right now, time for me to complete tonight's Killing Moon ritual so I can chill out in a heavenly bubble bath and get into serious reading! So I can get into some serious anime before bed. Watching Tora Dora at the moment and it's absolutely brilliant! I love it. Got into it within two episodes. Recently finished Stein's Gate - and started watching it again with my brother (also an anime fan!).
In other personal news...current fave things include June Tabor & The Oyster Band, Lily Flame Candles, listening to rock anthems when 'night swinging' in the garden, needlepoint tapestry and my fave perfumes of this week are Britney's Nice Remix, Paris Hilton's Fairy Dust, Marc Jacobs' Daisy, Anna Sui Flight of Fancy, Lush Princess Cottongrass and Taylor Swift's Wonderstruck :D Favourite item of clothing - Thai harem pants. Favourite bathroom stuff are...Lush's Vanilla Dee-Lite, American Cream Conditioner, Be Never Too Busy To Be Beautiful shower gel and Sakura bath bombs. Johnson's Baby Bedtime Bath with lavender and chamomile. Sebamed soap. And as always, creme de la mer face cream, and creme de la mer body cream. Nothing else is even close to as good as cdlm. But the body cream is soooooo fantastic that if I use it every three days it's enough to keep me in tip top softness and comfort! Heavenly. Oh - and if in a super super hurry, Dove cream wash is really good as long as I use my cdlm every 3rd day. Fantastico. Oh - I'm also still a massive fan of bio oil - except I use that as a body oil because I do a lot of intensive workouts and some body lotions irritate my skin when I sweat under them but bio oil is so light that I can sweat through it so in the summer I often trade lotions in for bio oil. That's probably my top beauty tip - bio oil is just fantastic and smells lovely too!
Love love love to everyone XXXX M
1st February 2015: It's been a busy month - in a good way - not in a stress way. Had a great day today...kinda typical of my boho heaven days...
I get up in the evening, listen to music for an hour or two. Then today, I did temple work to get the attunements up to date - and do my own mantra meditation session.
It was a long session but so different to when I'm doing ritual work for people - because that is a lot of physical exersion and I tend to migrate after Tantric Shamanic rituals, to the studio for some hatha yoga and stretch out!
So today I came out of the studio with that energy boost I always seem to get when using the Kundalini Reiki Meditation (that's why I only use that early in the day - it really has an energising effect on me!).
Instead of my usual way, I decided to test drive the new Zumba playlist I've concocted - and did 90 mins. Fabulous though - really pleased that I have finally got the tracks in a sequence that means it's well enough balanced that I don't flag at any point by over working. Also wanted to add other track...I had to cull my 'addition' list but "I love it" (Icona Pop), "Word Up" (Cameo), "Whenever, Wherever" (Shakira), "One Tribe" (Black Eyed Peas", "Goodbye Horses" (Q Lazzarus) and "Roar" (Katy Perry) are all in there - interspersed with calypso, reggaeton, flamenco, belly dancing, cumbia, hip hop and salsa. Guaranteed endorphin rush. Though as I've made the playlist that much longer, I expect I will have to only use that list on days where I don't have ritual work. I have to avoid overdoing it and make sure I keep a balance of cardio (hard cardio and easy cardio two different things though!), yoga and deep stretches, ballet and pointe. I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it eh? :D
I had intended to do some admin and catch up the certificates but I don't think I'll have time actually so I may have to do that tomorrow. No rush anyway. Everything's up to date.
Just time for a loooooong bubble bath and another instalment of the Bhagavhad Gita...then I'll make some soup and read my kindle till it's time for nap naps :D
Love to all!
28th January 2015: I have had an extremely long session catching up with the admin. I enjoy all aspects of my work for Mayastar and Maya Magickal...I even (and I suppose it may be the asper in me) enjoy doing the accounts and stuff.
I am everso pleased right now though. If you don't want to know the tech stuff....skip this blog! But I have been frustrated to the point of of cussing on more than one occasion over the past few months. Mayastar relies - or has relied on social media sites and the use of an international display network in order to ensure customers can find the site because no matter what we tried, when it came to search engines, a lot of people don't realise online courses are available for Reiki and many of the systems that I teach. And at certain times of the month, cussing loudly and dancing my stress out to save me from premature aging or implosion actually - but the question regarding the advertising and the analysis of it is kind of answered now (my bloated code on my website from using Frontpage causes some problems that the customer doesn't see or experience, but when it comes to tracking or being able to monitor particular pages, the website was sabotaging the tracking conversion...very boring I know - but a real headache!). Anyway, everything has been ruled out and a new site will be built and optimised within the year. Relief! But for now we've established the combination of social networking and display networks is optimal for Mayastar. Phew. All we really proved was that we were doing it right but the site sabotaged any attempt to quantify how my time should be apportioned.
I work best if I know the facts of the matter I think. And huge thanks out to Daniel - he's an IT genius and the best brother in the world! Oceans of love comin' at Daniel! <3
It's currently a bit past my bedtime on Wednesday morning but all the administrative work is up to date. All attunements have been sent up to date. All spells scheduled into the temple diary and the additional time taken working out the techie kinks is completed!
I am happy to say, the number of new customers welcomed to Mayastar this month is in line with what I would expect and that's a good thing.
The special offer currently available is ending in 3 days though. I have sent a news letter and of course put notices out on the networks.
So if you would like to take advantage of the discount options, you don't have long - but there is a great variety - something for everyone!
Please visit www.mayastar.net/202020.htm for more info and to buy XXX
And now....it's time for me to chill out...and get some sleep....oh....well....after I've finished watching Ghost Hunters because Charlie chihuahua gets lonesome and I love the little fella!!
Oceans of love to my students and clients and those that have simply sent complimentary emails to me. It's always appreciated. And always received with true love and gratitude.
I know it's cheesy, but Mayastar is what the student members make it. I can't do my job without you and the inspiration shared through spiritual work is a two way things. There is not a single student I have not learnt from and I love working with people who are aspiring to improve themselves; to actually have the courage and will to make changes and try something new. I think in that way, we are kindred spirits and that's what makes it so fulfilling; I am honoured to be a part of your journey to wholeness and self realisation. As a teacher yes, but as a vessel for universal love.
And I am also grateful that some of you enjoy not just my courses, magickal workings and the new Divinity Assimilation Channelling options on www.mayamayagickal.net - but that you enjoy my art, my poetry, my blogs (sometimes truly epic blogs at that!)....it's just wonderful to be able to share myself and my gifts and to know I inspire and benefit othes through my commitment to this.
In gratitude to you all and namaste XXX
January 2015: Having just responded to a
new post to my FB page for Mayastar www.maya.mayastar.net with a massive
epic, I thought I would share. It's a virtual blog and kind of informative
for those new to my social networking pages that may not even have visited
www.mayastar.net yet! ♡ Please enjoy! And as always, #sharethelove ♡
Namaste ♡ MayaStar
Question: :-) when did u start this page? I love it and ur pic! :-)
Epic Answer due to fast thinking touch typist!: I can't remember to be honest! Mayastar Academy www.mayastar.net has been teaching online courses for about ten years - but the social networking pages were set up gradually over time. (my other fb page is www.annalouisemay.net but you can find me on Twitter, Tumblr, Flickr, Blogger, WordPress, LinkedIn, DeviantArt & Instagram too. And I set up the FB page www.newpreraph.net - And after a hiatus (much work done on the house and personal commitments meant social networking was neglected for quite a while!) I am restarting my normal day to day blog www.blog.mayastar.net
Mayastar Academy and Maya Magickal (www.mayamagickal.net) take up most of my time but when I can I like to blog about my hobbies and work I am doing...what I am reading...which henna I am using...and my corseting (tight lace corsetting for rib contouring - it's a body modification technique that has always enjoyed some popularity but I think is more mainstream now. Still. I love it because the effect corsets have on my oxytocin levels assist me to maintain a chemical balance and good mood - I make less oxytocin as I am aspergers...info on my blog page if you're interested!). And I blog about magick (which I have been studying and practising for 25 years) and ballet a lot. I write poetry and create concept based photoshoots. More for enjoying creating digital art than the actual photography I think. But I love combining all my talents and hobbies. And I think as a Spiritual Facilitator, my relationship with my students is rather different from other kinds of teaching.
The blogging is fun anyway but the fact that my students know me a bit - can put a face to the name and know a bit about my personal life and what kind of person I am, I think probably helps them to consider if Mayastar or Maya Magickal is right for them.
I hope so anyway. I think it provides some reassurance to my students and clients and also some entertainment.
Hopefully, inspiration & smiles too!
In typical Aspergirl style I have answered your question with an epic post :D I will probably share it on other networks ♡
Thanks for the compliment too. I get a lot for various reasons but when you're over 40 and someone calls you a girl you have to think...I am using the perfect moisturiser and clearly my nocturnal lifestyle and healthy hobbies are doing a good job! ♡
Much love xx Maya
PS. Please follow the page, visit my sites and share with your friends ♡
9th January 2015: It's been a loooong time and this blog has been seriously neglected over the past 18 months. I will try to summarise points because lots of changes and things going on.
My Brother, Maniac has moved but is in the process of moving back to Essex because he found actually, life outside of Essex didn't have me in it and we have such a laugh...and I must admit, I miss the impromptu photo shoot ops and the 'Supernatural' catch up all nighters! So that'll will be good.
Amber sadly died in 2013 but she had a fantastic life and was a fantastic cat. Fledger the Kitten has grown into Fledger the cat. Tipsy the neurotic (aka Patchy Scratchy) has indicators of a neurological problem but she's ok as long as she's handled calmly. She would seem to others to be skittish and strange...but to me she's just Tipsy - big heart, sharp claws - happy though and that's all that matters.
Charlie Brown the Chihuahua has become more stoic than ever I think. It's weird to think of him getting old...I love him so much. He is just as cuddly as ever and I love him!
I left the studio I danced at and for a while attended another studio but now have a studio at home so I can dance whenever is actually convenient (being nocturnal meant that studios were never actually really convenient - also it's a real bonus to be able to choose when I dance or workout - and have a warm studio too!). It also doubles well as a photographic studio and was built with that in mind so whenever I am less busy, I can do a selfie shoot or a shoot with Maniac or Charles whenever's convenient.
Definitely feels like a luxury. Also the Garden has been transformed with the Gateway of Dreams swing and some new trees and statures and generally it's been looked after - thanks massively to Wolf and my Dad for breathing new life into it while maintaining my 'wilderness' preference.
The home has also been radically transformed (thanks once again to Wolf, Poppa, Jet, Marky Mark and all those that helped...oh, and myself of course!) - with new shelves and much clutter disposal. And the living replaced with boho corner where I can work, chill, record music, practice my guitar (literally have everything to hand in boho corner)...and decorated with some stunning Gothic birdcages from Memento Mori.
There have been additions to the Mayastar Syllabus in this time too - the Avalonian Alignment Programme has always been very popular and it can now be combined with the Star of Avalon Ascension Programme and Avalonian Spectral Activations which combine to form a comprehensive meditation exercise for spiritual development and natural healing using symbols, visualisation and mantra to increase the energy flow in a harmonious way. The current syllabus can be viewed at www.mayastar.net/courses.htm
There are also new options available for Maya Magicka - with the Lightworker's Initiation Intensive www.mayamagickal.net/initiation.htm - new Tantric Shamanic Options and also the option for Divinity Assumption Channelling as part of any TS Ritual for those who want to connect with higher powers and take a more active role in the process too. A truly magickal option and extremely popular too!
Other than that...I must admit it's hard to justify how I've been sooooooo busy but somehow when you organise big stuff, you end up busy with a lot of little loose ends to tie up...or in my case, plait and wind around with LED fairy lights!
Oh...one very annoying point. There was a terrible error last year when I accidentally ordered Indigo instead of Henna and turned my lovely red hair black. I waited to see if it would fade and it didn't...I tried to fade it with chemical assistance to no avail...and in the end decided I didn't like the two tone look...the black make my face look sickly too...so I chopped all the black off....it was about a year's growth I had to chop off so I wasn't at all pleased. But I'm glad to say my hair seems to grow a lot faster than I thought and Henna is so me!
But anyway, sorry to those who visited this blog and found it hadn't been updated! Very bad form I know. I'll try to keep things up to date now - but I do update FB everyday for Mayastar and my personal page so if you want to follow those please visit www.maya.mayastar.net and www.annalouisemay.net